I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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