Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
