Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
