I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
