Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
