It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
