Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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