I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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