I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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