Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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