Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
