my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
