they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
