You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
