you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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