Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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