I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
