you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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