the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
