Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
