have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
