you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.