Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.