Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
