Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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