i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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