Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
