he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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