Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
