My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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