You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
