it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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