week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
