I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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