so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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