Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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