dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everclear isn't food dammit
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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