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I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
