she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
