$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Terrible idea I love it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
