Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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