one two three fourrrrnication!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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