she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
