he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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