Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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