Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
