OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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