watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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