She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
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He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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