maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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