I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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