i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
