so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
