Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
