Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i now understand why vodka
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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