ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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