I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
