Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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