Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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