just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
