Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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