I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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