ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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