he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So vagazzling was a success
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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