She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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