Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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