I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
