used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
